Now accepting submissions for a better name

Or, if you prefer a less vulgar title, “Indiana Jones and the Defamation of Cultural Heritage.”

Yes, I saw it. I finally saw it. Just so you know, this post may contain SPOILERS. Yes, SPOILERS.

And, as a movie-goer, I had a blast. There were chase scenes, sword fights, explosions, magnetized gunpowder, the ubiquitous Indiana Jones mass of creepy crawly scenes (though sadly many were CGIed), and Monkeys. Oh my God, the Monkeys. And I have soft spots for Harrison Ford and Shia LeBeouf. And Marion Ravenwood is one of the great adventure movie female side-kicks… unlike that blonde chick from Temple of Doom. What was her name… Charlie? Sorry, I was too busy hoping she’d fall off a cliff to remember her name.

Moving on…

As a student of archaeology, I regretted not having my notebook and pen with me to note the absurdities. Besides from the fact that they’re speaking Mayan along the Amazon, the movie starts out in Area 51 (actually signed at Hangar 51 in the film). And Area 51 always means ONE thing: Aliens. Turns out this is where the government stores all the stuff it doesn’t know how to deal with, including the Ark of the Covenant. And I always thought it was in some hangar in Bethesda MD, possibly near Cheney’s undisclosed hideaway.

So, despite the rejection letter posted by McSweeney’s, Indy’s got tenure, a few years under the belt, a few military and government medals, and is now nosing around New World archaeology. The Commies get him to find for them alien remains he excavated that are now in Hangar 51 and are… highly magnetized? Plot, plot, Shia LeBeouf as angsty greaser, cool car/motorcycle chase around Yale/”Marshall College” campus/building/library, geeky archaeologist moment in library about V.G. Childe followed by telling his students they need to get out the library and into the field to be archaeologists as he leaves the building on a motorcycle, plot, PERU. Peru… hunting for Mayan (no, not Incan) remains… finding a crystal skull in the tomb of some conquistadors… a weird oblong skull. Here’s where we figure out that the crystal skulls we all know and love and very little to do with the crystal skulls of the movie. No. Now Indy’s back to treasure hunting. I don’t care if he’s following clues akin to his father’s diary and golden medallions… he’s following the path of conquistadors.

Once the Commies get him again the movie goes the way of Erich Von Daniken and his numerous books. The crystal skulls are, in fact, the actual skulls of extraterrestrials. Returning the skull to the body it belongs to, resting in El Dorado, powers up a flying saucer. Drawings of the gods are actually drawings of the space visitors who taught agriculture and irrigation to the Mayans (who were apparently along the Amazon… speaking the same Mayan they spoke when the conquistadors came). It was at this point I decided to sit through the credits to see if Erich von Daniken’s name popped up. It did not. 10$ says he’s going to claim theft of intellectual property against Spielberg before the end of the summer.

What all my convoluted drabble above about the movie leads to is my issue with Erich von Daniken and others like him (though I don’t believe he really believes in anything other than a profit). These theories that start with the assumption that the contemporary culture of whatever object or structure we are analyzing was not advanced/skilled enough to have created it is, for lack of a better word at midnight, racist.

I mentioned this to my mother tonight and she began citing respected scientists who believe we could be or could have been visited by lifeforms from other planets… fine, great. I don’t NOT believe there are other lifeforms in our infinitely large universe. I’m a fan of Carl Sagan. I’m not sure I buy the weather balloon of Roswell NM. But if you’re going to tell me that ancient civilizations- ancestors and fore-fathers of modern people- had to be TAUGHT to create wonders, then you better be prepared to show me who taught those teachers. Otherwise, go read your dogeared copy of G.F. Smith’s The Ancient Egyptians (1911). Diffusion theory is a vicious line of reasoning that ends in the argument for the intellectual superiority of one culture over another that I cannot agree with. It’s like the Europeans who came to America and saw the American Indian burial mounds and said ‘no, no, these are too advanced for the indigenous people of this area to have built. There must have been other people here, smarter people, “Mound Builders”, who built these.’ Well, guess what- remember those indigenous people you thought were too ‘primitive’, jackasses? Yeah, they were making them up to the 1500s. What this all boils down to is the defamation of indigenous heritage. If they figured it out on there own, so can we, and so can the next people.

And that’s what my beef with the new Indy film boils down to: my issue with diffusion theory.

Otherwise, I’d definitely see it again, if only to see Indy freak-out when Mutt handed him a giant rat snake to pull him out of the sand pit.

I’ll also refer you to this awesome asylum.com article I stumbled upon minutes after posting this entry.

Yet again I have failed to post in a timely manner.  I feel I have a decent excuse this time: I was working grad school apps, putting in my two weeks notice at work, and have had my wisdom teeth taken out.  I am actually still in bed from the wisdom teeth incident- my face is 2xs its originally size.  Not a pretty picture, and quite painful.

I went to graduation last weekend at my good old alma mater and got to tell my academic advisor and thesis advisor that I am (pretty much) officially heading to grad school in the fall!  I’ve been accepted to Durham and Cardiff, so I’ll be hopping the pond to continue my study of th Western Mediterranean Neolithic (like I was going to fin a program for that in the states…).  So if you’re wondering whose been hunting through your couch cushions for spare change… that would be me.

Being back in DC to see my younger archaeology buddies graduate was really fun.  My partner in crime was the student speaker, which didn’t surprise me at all since she’s the biggest work-a-holic I know.  The fun part there was sitting in the VIP section with her family and having her little brother drink all my water.

I’m noticing that this post isn’t making a lot of sense, and I’m blaming it on the pain killers.  So, I think I’m going to go back to bed and threaten death to anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to tell me what happens in the new Indiana Jones before I feel well enough to sit in a movie theater for 2 hours.

I blame archaeoblog for what you’re about to see:

The sad thing I have more…

Think you can do better? By all means, let me see, or bring it over to archaeoblog.

Apologies, apologies, apologies. I have no excuse besides from having an actual job and floating in a sea of ‘what-in-the-devil’s-name-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life’. In the last month-and-a-half I’ve been looking at M.A. programs in the UK but, true to my nature, I have yet to send e-mails to any of the departments inquiring about spaces, let alone actually complete and application.

So far out have I been that I only just stumbled across an article on scientists deciding that Otzi died from a blow to the head. Only took note since I was watching the Discovery Channel’s Egyptology Night and saw the good Dr. Hawass discuss blows to at least 3 different heads. I could mention a head that could use a blow, but not only would it be interpretted incorrectly, it would deprive me of infinite amusement everytime I turn on a program on Egyptology. In all seriousness, the good doctor has done some great things for Egyptian Antiquities.

Since I’m still in the NY Metro Area I should at some point do a review or at least make reference to the new Levy-White wing of the Metropolitan Museum. I’ve swung by there a few times since one of my sisters lives across the street, but I will hopefully take a day and go with my Classicist friend from college who took a way-too-early-in-the-morning Roman Art History class with me. I’ll give him a hard time about missing the Greek counterpart while I drag him through the Minoan/Cycladic room.

Ok, so time to catch up on the News:

• I must admit, I don’t recall yet hearing Stonehenge referred to as a “Neolithic Lourdes”. Perhaps a believable reason for lugging bluestones for 150 miles? As a rule I remain sceptical. My mother says I don’t believe anything. Mind you, this is after she waved Ahmed Osman’s “Jesus in the House of the Pharaohs” in my face and insisted I read it. Perhaps next time I need a good laugh, Mom.

• And I can’t quite get over the fact that the Discovery Channel website actually had the link to this story labelled as “Poop fossil”. Doesn’t tickle my fancy quite the was ‘archaeoporn’ does, but it’s definately an attention grabber. And if you’re curious what this actually links to– apparently this poop predates Clovis by about 1000 years. And we used to eat grass. I don’t remember that turning out so well for Foulon de Doue.

• And in a SECOND article on the Discovery Channel’s website that features the word “poop”, while some South African hunter-gatherers may have already been using early versions of the bow-and-arrow more than 61,000 years ago, Europeans weren’t using them until around 30,000 years ago, putting a damper on world-systems-theory. This based on the “out of Afria” emmigration (as they call it) around 50,000 years ago.

I think I need to start subscribing to some reputable sources and stop scouring the internet. At least you can access some of the AJA online.

And before I sign off, it’s worth mentioning that you should check out the illustrious Brian Fagan’s new book “The Great Warming: Climate change and the Rise and Fall of Civilizations.” Funnily enough, I discovered this new book when he was interviewed on, believe or not, Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show. What’s that? An archaeologist in pop-culture world? Yeah, I was amused. (And he even has a blog!)

Yes, yes, it has been awhile since I’ve posted.  I know.  Sorry.

That being said, a change is a-comin’.  New layout, new theme, new lotta things.  And I will finally post about all the archaeology articles I’ve had bookmarked and have thought about posting for the last month.

Things that I have done- notice the new link to the website ‘Bad Archaeology’.  A rundown of archaeological fallacies and things that make us want to tear out our hair and damn all post-modernists (at least that’s I want to do most of the time).

…ok, so mybe it’s ‘thing’ I’ve done, rather than ‘things’.

So somewhere between finding a job and figuring out how to fund grad school come january I will be overhauling this place.  Seriously.

And also coming- an amusing list of Do’s and Don’t’s for excavation volunteers.  Not by me.  My two excavations certainly do NOT qualify me to tell other people what to do (with the exception of AnimalPlanet, a girl in my area on an excavation in Israel last summer who didn’t believe she needed more than a pint of water a day while excavating in the Jezreel Valley).

So expect more posts, and most likely some subdomains dedicated to my pursuit of costume design and fashion.

I promise that I’ll start up on the semi-regular posting again soon.  To tide you over though, I found this lovely job on craigslist while looking for work here in the 203:

“Confident, authoritative, actress needed to head up a training video on feminist psychology. Should have clear voice, slim elegant figure, cool sense of humor and access to a wide range of clothing - business, cocktail and bathing suit.”

Sounds normal, right?  Read it again.  Closer this time.

You see it?

Yup.  Actress needed for a video on FEMINIST psychology… and she must have a bathing that she looks slim and elegant in.  I would love to meet the director of this thing and find out his interpretation on it…  hehehe.

That is all for the moment.

Oh, and the New 7 Wonders vote, mentioned in a previous post, are announced this Saturday, so go on over to the website and vote if you give a crap.  It’s cool if you don’t.  I’m over it.

Since my last post I have:

1. Graduated from college
2. Been told I’ve been accepted to the masters program for costume design that I applied to
3. Spent 7 hours in a car with my father driving back to CT, because my mother broke her ankle, missed my graduation, is currently laid up in bed with a big gray boot on her right foot. I have done little but take care of her and the house and my father. That and begin reading The Name of the Rose. And play on my mom’s brand-new 17″ MacBook Pro, which I got to go buy for her.

The Apple Store is heaven on Earth.

I have not been keeping up on archaeology news. Bad blogger, I know. Instead I’ve been doodling on movie stills in the Times and watching CNBC with my mom. Back to stock news with me.

It’s done.

It’sdoneit’sdoneit’sdone.

My thesis is done.

I handed it in yesterday to the Anthropology department and have since been plagued with the feeling of having no responsibilities until graduation this coming weekend.

Ok, maybe plagued isn’t the right word. Maybe ‘gifted’ is better.

On that note, my mind has essentially stopped working after pumping out 12,000 words on trade between neolithic Sicily and Malta and its effect on the construction of the Maltese megalithic temples.

That being said, I have no topics worth posting here, besides from the fact that Jerry Falwell is dead. While I do not normally rejoice about death, I think the guy was long over-due for inviting Mr. Falwell out for a drive…

So… I’ve gotten into my jammies and am all ready to get the last good night of sleep I plan to get for the next few days as I finish the final draft of my thesis and take my last two finals as an undergrad, and I do my usual ‘one last scan of the internet won’t hurt’ browsing. I pull up the LJ group archaeological and see this:

Archaeologist finds tomb of King Herod
By MARK LAVIE, Associated Press Writer

JERUSALEM - An Israeli archaeologist has found the tomb of King Herod, the legendary builder of ancient Jerusalem and the Holy Land, Hebrew University said late Monday. The tomb is at a site called Herodium, a flattened hilltop in the Judean Desert, clearly visible from southern Jerusalem. Herod built a palace on the hill, and researchers discovered his burial site there, the university said.

Maybe Josephus isn’t THAT much of a dirty liar after all. And I kind of like that we can blame the fact that it took us so long for us to find something that was right where we were told it was on the Romans and their cute tendancy to destroy Judean cities.

…and by got, I mean I AM back.  Still finishing things up so I can actually graduate in a month, but I figure I should make more of an effort to make daily posts.  So, for today:

 Echorouk Online, an Algierian newsource, reports that in the first quarter of the year 358 archaeological items were seized from tourists trying to sneak them out of the country at the Tiska Airport of Djanet in the south of Algeria.  I honestly don’t know if that’s a lot or a little.  And I’m also curious about what constitutes an ’archaeological item’.  Since the article claims they were all being smuggled (meaning carefully packed at the bottom of some tourists bags) to be resold or ’ exchanged by these dishonest tourists in Europe and elsewhere’, I assume it must have been the good stuff.

 While the article seems to make a big deal of little news, I still think it’s awesome that this country, like most other African and Middle Eastern countries, is making an effort to keep their cultural history THEIR cultural history.   

Seperately, I’m gonna point you all to this post over at Brilliant Brunette, a friend from the excavation I was on last summer.  It’s a short post conerning the shooting at VA Tech.  I hadn’t thought about this argument concerning religion and the shooter, but I’m glad she said it and put it out there.  (Brunette- if you don’t want me to link here let me know and I’ll take it down )